Dear One’s Diary
The flight and hotel have been booked – I’m heading to Berlin for my Summer sojourn. It’s always nice to visit the motherland, and to do so in disguise, as one of the common people, affords a wonderful opportunity to experience a different side to a place; one that normally eludes me as I am forced to march through a procession of formal events, pomp and pageantry. I first hit upon the notion of using a disguise back in 1998, when I desperately wished to visit Brazil during Carnival but couldn’t afford to be discovered parting hard in the streets of Rio given that I was meant to be showing restraint following the death of Diana. Ironic that I had to go to such lengths to avoid scandal given the amount of it she generated during her public life. And doubly ironic that her “death” should inconvenience me so at the time when I actually have her chained up in the Tower, alive and mostly well. But I digress. Over the years I have carefully refined my disguise into a distinct alter ego – Lois Carmen Denominator. Married seven times to various multi-millionaire hotel magnates and entrepreneurs who died suspiciously, Lois is an eccentric and profligate woman-of-means, a refined and sophisticated culture vulture and occasional party animal. She is an enigma, wrapped in a guessing game, stuffed into a blender full of questions and smeared all over the playing pieces of Cluedo. She has become a dear friend to me, this persona I adopt, and I slip into her as easily as I do a pair of scarlet crotch-less suspenders.
I plan to take in several sights, and I may perhaps slip out of the Lois Common Denominator disguise to share some tea with Angela and give her some more advice on how she could appear more feminine. Though she didn’t take kindly to my previous advice on hemlines and lipstick and promptly deleted it from her Wall. Perhaps I'll share with her my ideas on sorting out this European debt crisis instead, or have a laugh or two about that insecure toad Nicholas.
Ich Bin Ein Lizzie
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