Happy Independence Day, former subjects! The door is always open to return should you ever tire of being run by Biblical literalists who marry their cousins. I know, I know, I’m one to talk about in-breeding, but the offer stands.
I realise that I never finished blogging about my experiences in Ireland. Well, I can’t be fucking arsed finishing it now and even if I wanted to, I went off my tits on Salvia Divinorum and can’t remember much of the last 3 weeks. I think I forgot to feed Diana, too. Whoops. Oh well, it's not like starving for 3 weeks is a new experience to her. I think she once survived for 2 months on nothing but dust and the smell of roast beef; just to fit into a John Galliano.
William and Kate are having a smashing time in Canada. They’re terribly popular. I wonder, for the sake of the future of the monarchy, would it be possible to abort Charles at this late stage?
I'm off to do some Yogalates. I find it makes me nice and limber for my tantric sex sessions with Philip.
TTYL
Lizzie
